As we grow up we receive confusing messages about lying. Sometimes the messages tell us it is Ok to tell lies (e.g. to save some ones feelings) and at other times the messages tell us it is not OK. We see people caught up with lying all the time and in many cases there is no problem. Some people say “I am straight up” and this may suggest they don’t get involved with lying no matter how what they have to say may affect another person. Perhaps this straight up idea does not always escape lying. Lying can trap us in a pattern of behaving and communicating that never works in our favour.

How can we learn that being truthful is best when the results of being truthful can also be painful? 
It all comes down to communication.

We sometimes get caught up with lying when we want to:

• Get out of trouble or to avoid getting into trouble

• Avoid punishment

• Avoid embarrassment( so they fit in with the group)

• Get some one else into trouble

• Make ourselves seem / look more interesting to others ( by exaggerating bragging or boasting)

• Avoid an awkward situation (Mum says I can not go out tonight)

• Keep self safe ( like avoiding answering a strangers questions) 

• Keep secrets

• Avoid hurting some ones feelings


It is never ok to get caught up with lying:

• To avoid getting in trouble when you are involved 

• To upset tease or spread false rumours about another person 

• To blame some one else for something you have 

• To cheat someone 

• When someone else could be hurt (if someone is being bullied, or in an unsafe situation maybe involving drugs and alcohol)


A website that may be useful